Day 2.

I haven't smoked in 2 days.
I didn't even try to eat healthy on the 1st because I was hungover AF and I always eat like shit when I'm hungover, it's like my stomach begs for grease.

New years eve was pretty good. I got way more drunk than I wanted too and I regret that. I blacked out for a couple hours I believe. My camera has some pretty funny pictures on it! I'm kind of over drinking, I don't really enjoy it like I used to and everyone else gets on my nerves when they drink (including myself).

My sister got back from Florida the 30th, she was visiting my aunt and cousins. She said my aunt weighs 94 pounds now and is on a "diet" because she thinks she needs to lose some more weight. My sister went jogging with her a couple of times at 6am just because she was afraid for her to go alone. She told me that my aunts kids mentioned that they didn't want to tell their mom they knew our uncle was in prison because they were afraid she would starve herself all week like she does every time she gets stressed, worried, or upset. I just don't get how my family can be so fucked up. I mean my grandparents and parents are very successful, they have always gave anyone in the family what they want. We were cared for, spoiled, not hit, but yet there are so many of us with drug problems, drinking problems, eating problems, insecurities. . . literally everyone of my aunts and uncles have at least a drinking, drug, or eating disorder... HOW? I am scared to have kids! Does this run in the genes or something?

Anyways, ugh.

It's my second day not smoking. It's a breeze. I spent 90 bucks on one of those fancy little electronic vapor things. I got cotton candy and over the rainbow flavors, yum<3 Today I've had a banana and strawberry smoothie so far and I'm not even thinking about fucking up. After looking through new years pictures I'm mortified and ready to lose this fat.

Happy New Years everybody!